I’ve been a caregiver since 2012, complicated by a move one state away from my parents who needed care. The frustrations of our modern world would fill several encyclopedias. The current issue is one my mom and I thought we had saved ourselves from early in the process. Mom and Dad had a trust put together to protect whichever parent was left behind. When Dad passed in 2020, Mom and I made further changes to make things go smoothly as her illnesses progressed. Fast forward to 2024 and Mom’s strokes have done a number on her brain so she is incapable of her business and I’m taking over. She is also in the final stages of a battle with cancer so we moved her to a nursing home where she could get constant care. Hospice also took over her care in the facility as they helped with her transition to her next role.

Mom has lived a blessed life and reached 94 years of age. The issue in this callous country is she is out of the money she and dad had saved for this purpose. Therefore, I entered the Medicaid nightmare. This is when I realized how unseen the elderly are. The government has NO concern for the elderly nor their caregivers. The fear of “cheating” is so great that all the legal documents my parents paid to protect us, are not worth the paper they are printed on. The Power of Attorney document has yet to be accepted by anyone in the financial sector. I’ve had battles over their refusal after being assured this was all I would need. Instead, I’ve been told to bring my mother into the bank to verify said lawyer written document. My mother sleeps so that would require an ambulance and even then she wouldn’t be able to tell them anything. It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve experienced in this journey, and I’ve experienced some pretty outrageous things.

If you are entering the caregiving arena, a word of warning. Mom’s attorney called the bank, offered to write a letter verifying the POA but the bank refused. In fact he was told that laws allowed banks to establish rules that allowed the banks to refuse this documentation. I’m still trying to figure that one out. Not that I am surprised. Our government has for years been giving the power to the wealthy and big business and allowed businesses to become conglomerates that increase rents to the point no one can afford them. How can any human being write laws that abuse the weakest among us?

It’s easy. The elderly and their caregivers (also the elderly in some cases) are invisible. They have nothing to offer open pocketed politicians. If that isn’t a sad state of affairs, I don’t know what is.